Golf League News Flash !!!

IT HAS HAPPENED AGAIN !

Nearly one year later, to the day, the same gorilla was victimized in broad daylight at the same golf course!

On July 25, 2007, at approximately 4PM, the gorilla was once again observed to be separated from its owner at the first tee. Golf league terrorists took immediate advantage of the situation and captured the gorilla, holding it at ball-mark-repair-tool-point! The gorilla was later held at 19th-hole-steak-knife-point, and then unceremoniously stuffed and zipped into a golf bag pocket.

Curiously, the apparently physically-unharmed gorilla was returned to its owner within just a few hours of its capture.

However, exclusive terrorist photos taken during the capture indicate that the gorilla may have been somehow coerced into joining the terrorist's cause. Only time will tell. Unconfirmed sources allege the gorilla is the subject of a round-the-clock surveillance watching for signs of the possible brainwashing.

You might recall the gorilla holding a half-peeled banana escaping from its owner on July 26, 2006. It was observed sitting on the sixth green at Butternut Farm GC at approximately 5:30 PM on that day. The owner himself was seen wandering the grounds at BFGC into the early evening. The owner was later contacted by golf terrorists who demanded a ransom. After hours and days of tense negotiation, the gorilla was eventually returned to his owner.

Tony Carpenito Reporting

2007 League Highlight Story

While the other two Wednesday leagues canceled, more than half of our league regulars exposed themselves to the elements during an official National Weather Service "Tornado Warning" Alert on May 16, 2007.  The nine incredibly (fool)hearty golfers who teed off, stroking between the downpours and lightening bolts, were Randy Troupe, Brian Sheehan, Henry Doherty, Tony Carpenito, Mike Zurawski, Tom Morits, Mike Flynn, John McBride and Joe Carroll.  The Gods of Natural Selection definitely spared us all on that dark and stormy day!